I CAN MOONWALK!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
