Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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