thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
