My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
