the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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