his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
