idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
