Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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