Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
