At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
