? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
