I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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