you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
