3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
