went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
