It's a beautiful day for a hangover
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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