Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
