You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
