come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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