Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
