Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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