I bet he comes in French.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
