and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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