Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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