after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
