Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
