I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
