No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
