Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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