I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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