dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
