chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
