I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
