counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
