My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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