You can't motorboat a personality
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
