he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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