I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
