Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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