handjob tips. give me some.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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