At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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