You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize