I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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