I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
