Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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