OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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