I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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