dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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