May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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