if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
