I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
